22 Weeks

Today was pretty uneventful and stable which is a good thing in my situation. The babies heartbeats were strong, Baby A's was 160 and Baby B's was 140. You can visibly see the girls kicking my stomach which is pretty great. I slept pretty good and perhaps I'm just getting used to being at the hospital. I actually slept in until 8:30 a.m., after falling asleep around 11:30. The nice thing about last night was no one woke me up until 6:00 a.m.

Once I woke up I learned from my nurse that my doctor came in and checked on me at around 7:30 a.m. but decided to let me sleep. All I could think is the 20 different people who work at the hospital have no problem waking me up and here my doctor the one person I'd welcome waking me up let me sleep.

My doctor came back in the afternoon and it was nice because she just took some time out of her day just to chat with me and even told me a little bit about her life. She truly is a great person and doctor. She did tell me that each week they would do a CBC which is a blood test and what they were most focused on was my white blood count. I had my test this evening and everything was within normal limits and they were happy with the results because alot of times just being pregnant will result in a higher test result.

I'd have to say the most anxious time of the day comes everyday when they take my temperture to check for a fever which can be a sign for infection. I don't know about anyone else but my temp fluctuates anywhere from 98.3 to 98.9 throughout the course of the day. Lets just say I'm in a great mood for the next four hours its 98.3 and not so great when it gets to 98.9.

I also have a new found respect for nurses. I've never really been sick and have never stayed the night in the hospital before other then when I gave birth to Sloan. My nurses are amazing and upbeat and are taking such good care of me. Honestly the only people that work in the hospital that I like seeing is my nurses, a resident and my doctor.

As I get ready to go to bed, I would have to say all in all it was a very good day and one day closer.

Day 8

My doctor came to see me at about 9:00 this morning. I don't think I was ever so glad to see someone. I feel very lucky that I like my doctor so much, she has a way of making me feel a bit calmer and she has a great bedside manner. I really appreciated the fact that she spent 45 minutes with me answering my many questions.

She advised me that the fluid around both of the girls looks very good and it is her opinion that we should proceed with the pregnancy and her motto is to let nature take its course. She also told me what I already knew that really its in God's hands and there is no way of predicting anything because everyone's body is different but she has seen medical miracles happen everyday. Although I understand this concept I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it because I'm wired to want to know all the facts and to need to know the final outcome. (Another lesson to learn perhaps?)

They will do a blood count this week and will do another ultrasound in a couple weeks. On the downside, I can't take my wheelchair rides anymore because she'd rather have me in bed for the next 2 weeks. She told me there was no need to seek any high risk medical help at this time but they are right here if we need them.

Twenty four weeks seems to be the magic number though, its when I'll be able to get the steroids to help the babies develop their lungs and its when I can get medication to stop labor if it happens. I am 21 weeks and 6 days today and she also suggested a small party every week, something to look forward to. (I wonder if I can celebrate with pina coladas?)

I also learned that Methodist Hospital and Riley Hospital work very close together when it comes to my type of case and once the babies are born there would be no reason to transfer them to Riley's unless they have a heart condition. Methodist is known to have the best NICU unit in Indiana.

I learned that losing a small amount of fluid each day wasn't something to be terribly concerned with and many women lose fluid throughout their entire pregnancy. I took my last round of antibiotics today and now we just wait and pray I do not get any sort of infection. At this point infection is really the main focus and if I come down with a fever they will start the antibiotics again. Infection is obviously bad because it can hurt the babies but also can make me very sick.

Today I learned this whole ordeal is pretty serious because all the doctors and nurses that were off this weekend came into my room and smiled and said, "Oh, you don't know how glad I am to see you!" (Trust me I know its not because of my sparkling personality!)

Every morning my nurse checks the babies heartbeats and today Baby A's heartbeat was 120 and Baby B's was 140. A milestone happened today though, my nurse felt Baby A kick. This is the first time someone besides me felt one of the babies. (Sorry Drew) Some of you have asked about the heartbeats and I wanted you to know that their heartbeats will fluctuate greatly from 100-160 depending on if they are sleeping, moving, burping, etc.

My doctor said I need to concentrate on keeping my mind active and these next 2 weeks will be hard, so if anyone has any suggestions on a fun project or craft let me know. I've never been much of a crafter but I guess Martha Stewart better look out now!!

(This is what I have to look at everyday, its like Chinese water torture watching that flippin' clock!)

Day 7

I can't believe a week ago I was walking in the house after being gone on vacation. I never imagined 7 hours later I'd end up being in the hospital. I miss my house, our day to day routine and even though it maybe hard to believe I miss Lilly. Drew also reminded me that we've only slept in the same bed together for 5 hours in the last 17 days!

Today was pretty uneventful, there have been no changes to report. I don't know how but I'm pretty tired today but I suspect its just from being so worried. I did have my IV removed today and they are going to keep it out for the time being as long as things stay the same. I'm also still going on my wheelchair rides with Drew and Sloan.

I am hoping that once my nerves calm down a bit I can read some of my magazines and books that everyone has brought for me. I think my main problem is that I worry about every little ache and pain and I keep forgetting I'm pregnant and I'm going to have pregnancy symptoms.

Drew has brought me dinner the last two nights. The food isn't too horrible in the hospital but for some reason it all has a hospital smell to it that is already starting to get to me.

My doctor will be in tomorrow and hopefully I'll have some new information to report.

Day 6

As most of you know I've been in the hospital since 4:00 a.m. Monday night. I finally got internet at the hospital so I will try and update daily so my family and friends can be kept on top of how the babies, Sloan, Drew and I are doing.

I returned from vacation last Sunday night about 9:00 p.m. I was very happy to be home because I was extremely tired and I missed Drew very much. The pregnancy hormones have made me an incredible mushball. Looking back I haven't felt myself for a couple weeks but I kept chalking it up to the fact that I was having twins and that I am 39 years old. I try not to think about being 39, and I've only been 39 for a little over a month but I've never in my life been told how old I am this many times.

I had a trip to the E/R while I was on vacation. I woke up one morning and my feet were incredibly swollen and I was having a hard time catching my breath. They ran a series of tests, EKG, blood test and a CT scan and my diagnosis was I was 39 and having twins.

Drew and I went to bed around 11:00 p.m. on Sunday and I woke up around 3:15 for my usual bathroom break. While walking up the stairs I felt a little discomfort but thought I was probably tired and pregnant. I laid back down and after about 2 minutes it felt like I was actually peeing the bed! I thought, oh come on, this cannot be happening and this cannot be right. I got up and went to the bathroom and I knew I wasn't going to the bathroom because I was completely unable to control myself. I woke Drew up and called my doctor and they told me to get to the E/R.

After a series of test they confirmed my suspicions and indeed my water had ruptured. This condition is called PPROM. I was admitted to the hospital and was told this was very serious and there would be a good chance that I would lose the babies and it could be that day. They took an ultrasound and found the tear was in Baby B's sac but the good news was there was still fluid in the sac. The ultrasound also revealed I was probably around 21 weeks and not 22 weeks pregnant and the girls both weighed close to a pound.

For a week I have been treated with antibiotics by IV and orally and they check my vitals every 2 hours to make sure I do not come down with a fever or infection and they make sure I am not leaking. So far I've been lucky, no temp and no leaking and my body is responding well to the antibiotics. Physically I have actually felt better then I have in about 3 weeks. The downside is I've been on the internet a little too much and even though I have always given my friends and family the advice not to look on the internet when they are sick I have done exactly that. That damn internet has made it nearly impossible for me to fall asleep at night and has made me feel completely helpless.

For the most parts my spirits are pretty good but late at night seems to be worse for me. I can't help but think why me, I don't drink, smoke, I don't drink caffeine, I eat healthy, I take my prenatal vitamins and visit my doctor and then you see women who hurt their bodies and have a perfectly healthy babies. It doesn't help that they are checking my vitals at midnight, two, four and the doctors make their rounds at six. Another downside to all this is my doctor has been out of the country this week and doesn't return until Monday. I have seen many doctors and each one has a different take on the matter so I feel like I really need to put this in God's hands and know at the end of the day I've done the best that I can do for these babies.

A timeline of what is to come next is I see my doctor on Monday and she will decide how much longer I will be on my antibiotics, once I am off them I will lay here and they will monitor me like they always have, at 24 weeks I will receive steroids for the babies to help develop their lungs, 25 weeks is a good milestone for the babies and they are able to do more if I were to go into labor early. I try hard to focus on today but I can't help but wish these next few weeks away.

Lastly, I want to thank Drew who is the most amazing husband ever who keeps me strong and looks at only the positive, Sloan for being here for me everyday and making me laugh and for crying with me and being my best nurse ever, my mom for rushing to Indy to help us and the rest of my family and friends who have prayed and visited and kept in contact with us during this hard time. I feel blessed to have you all in our lives!

Keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming our way!

Embarrassing Sloan

I took this photo a few weeks ago when we stayed with Ya Ya Kris. Since I can't sleep, I'm up early and what do I end up doing?
I stared at Sloan while she slept. Creepy?? Probably, but as a mom I don't think its something you ever get tired of. No matter how much they drive you crazy, I guarantee if you go in their room while they are sleeping I guarantee your heart will melt and you will think your child is the most perfect creation on this earth!

Week 20

I'm now in my 5th month of pregnancy and finally starting to look pregnant and not like a blobby fat tree stump. I am still feeling really great or at least I think I feel great until I try and do anything for longer then 20 minutes at a time. My appetite is still not great but I have managed to finish a few meals this month and today was actually the first time that I sorta snacked all day. My mother-in-law, Kris, totally caught onto my moving my food around my plate and placing a napkin over my barely eaten meals while we were visiting and Drew and Sloan have both threatened to tattle to my doctor about not eating enough.

The last week or so the pain in my stomach has become pretty noticeable and by the end of the night I am wiped out and it literally feels like my uterus is going to fall out. I doubt that will happen though because my doctor and my ultrasound tech told me what a great uterus I had. Which leads me to this question, how does one respond to that? Oh thank you, I've been working out?

Sleeping is another thing that has changed, I'm usually in bed early and I'm up even earlier, I rarely sleep past 7:30 a.m. Rolling over in bed is pretty funny too, I should charge admission to watch the walrus roll over, because that's seriously how I feel. I have also noticed that if I lay too long on one side my side really aches as if to tell me, just how much weight do you think one hip can support?

This all leads me to the most obvious observation, I'm only 20 weeks pregnant! A part of me wants my pregnancy to last and I want to enjoy every moment because this will be the last time I am pregnant, the last summer with Sloan and the last time I can have free time just for me for the next 10 years or so but I can't help but wonder how bad is this all going to get?

As always though, I feel blessed to have two healthy girls in my belly and I am really enjoying the fluttering around they're doing. Another perk is watching Sloan talk to the babies everyday and kissing my belly twice. All in all its really been pretty great!

Update: Ok after looking at my picture, maybe I still look like a tree stump!

Sloan Is A Big Sister To....

Unless you dress your boys in purple then the answer is baby girls!!! I could not be more excited, I secretly or maybe not so secretly wanted and prayed for girls. I wanted boys for Drew but I really, really, really wanted girls for me. Everytime I'm out shopping the girls section pulls me to it and the boys sections make me frown and be grumpy. I will also admit to this little secret, I can't even begin to picture me with boys, well at least not picturing me in a mental hospital for a few months.

Drew and I planned on getting pregnant and the news of twins was a shock but I thought, hmmm...perhaps a boy and a girl that would be nice. Then we went to our next ultrasound and we learned that the babies were identical which ruled out the boy and girl factor and the thought of two boys sent my heart racing and not in a good way. I know these babies are going to give me a run for my money but knowing I've been down the girl road before helps me ease my nerves a bit. Don't get me wrong I think boys are awesome, in fact, I married one but I don't know how I'd cope with one more unknown and this is seriously only because of my how my little OCD mind works.

Sloan is so excited she can't even stand it, she says she can't wait for them all to be best friends and to play dress up and to be each other's bridesmaids at each others weddings. I'm so excited that she'll have sisters to tell secrets to and to even bitch about me behind my back to!

As much as Drew wanted boys he is thrilled to death after seeing the ultrasound this morning. Baby A weighs in at 9 ounces and Baby B weighs in at 7 ounces. The doctor asked us if we'd be ok hearing the news that he only sees 2 perfect little girls in which we happily replied YES!

Notice the photo I posted, Sloan came to my appointment prepared, she wore a pink and blue striped polo so she could root for whatever team it ended up. We picked up these shirts on the way home because Drew saw them a few months ago and got a kick out of them, but please note, these shirts will be the only matching outfits these girls will wear, I will not be one of those mom's who put their kids in matching outfits, which probably gives you the next clue that the girls names won't rhyme and will not start with the same letter!

Our next ultrasound is in 4 weeks and will get more frequent after that, as I have mentioned before they want to keep a close eye on the weight gain of both girls to make sure they are both developing at the same rate but for today I have to say I'm about as excited as a girl can get!

11th Trip to New Buffalo With My Best Girl

This marks my 11th year taking Sloan to one of my most favorite places, New Buffalo, Michigan. Its a bit bittersweet because its my last year with just her before the twins are here. We always do the same thing, eat cheeseburgers at Redamak's, go shopping on the boardwalk, go antique shopping at Da Barn (next to Redamaks/they don't have a website) and relaxing on Lake Michigan. The downside I couldn't drink a Rolling Rock with my burger, the upside I actually finished a meal for the first time in a century. The weekend could not of been more perfect, good food, a good book, good shopping, perfect weather and more memories with my best girl!